My Personal Feng Shui Needs an Upgrade

One of my new year’s resolutions is to stop dressing like a slob. So to achieve this goal, I signed up the ‘The Trunk Club’ where they send you a trunk of coordinated clothes each month to try on. Part of the deal is that you have a conversation with a fashion consultant so they can decide what to send you. My conversation went something like this:

Fashion consultant (FC): So, how would you describe your dress style?
Me: It’s casual at the office. I usually wear jeans and a company branded sport shirt. Or I wear a shirt from one of our business partner organizations.
FC: What kind of jeans?
Me: They’re…um, Blue.
FC: O-kay. How do you dress on weekends?
Me: I usually dress like a freshman college student who has been on a bender the night before. Usually mismatched sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Last weekend I was wearing Michigan State sweatpants and a University of MD sweatshirt. It was very confusing. If it’s a special occasion, I put on a red polo shirt that I bought in 1995.
FC: So…enough about how you dress today. How would you like to dress?
Me: Less like “Bluto”, more like “Otter”
FC: Excuse me?
Me: Well, I’m 43 years old. I think that it’s high time that I start dressing like someone who actually graduated from College.
FC: Ok, so you need a total fashion makeover.
Me: Bingo!
FC: Do you need shoes?
Me: Yes. Preferably ones without laces. As all of my friends know, I have a real problem with shoelaces.
FC: Am I being punk’d?
Me: Sadly, no.
FC: Ok, I’ll put together your trunk.
Me: Better send that via FedEx.

1 thought on “My Personal Feng Shui Needs an Upgrade

  1. fitzythird

    Please send me all your old sweats and sweatpants and beer related T-Shirts. I am not forseeing a fashion makeover any time soon and it sounds like you are in my closet. This was great….way to leave it out there on the field. Funny….


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